Focus Questions
1. The Inciting Incident (Most Critical)
You mention Rain makes "a seemingly simple decision that leads to a life-altering decision that makes him a fugitive" but this is completely vague. You need to answer:
- What specific action does Rain take?
He takes a different path during his commute. This leads to an encounter where Rain willingly goes into a dark alleyway in an attempt to pursue a shadowy figure that silently calls to him (later revealed to be his subconscious taking form from his ability). He encounters something inspirational? Something that calls to him to take hold of it, likely the mirror
- Why does this make him a fugitive? (To whom? The government? Vesper's organization? Public opinion?)
The government. They manipulate the story to where society itself is on the lookout for him as well. He is acting outside of the predictable norm and is designated as a fugitive. He is “disturbing the peace” in the sense that he is going against the comfort the society has established. Everything is fine and ignore the discrepancies in your comfortable reality.
- What are the immediate, tangible consequences?
His family and/or close friends beg him to turn himself in. That he should admit his wrongs even though he has not done anything definitively wrong.
2. How Memory Manipulation Works
Right now it's purely metaphorical. You need rules:
- Can Vesper literally erase memories? Implant false ones?
Vesper can extract memories from himself and others and turn them into glass shards. When the glass shards are shattered, they linger for a moment that grants an echo of the memories before returning to the owner’s mind. He holds the memories he’s stolen in a vault to prevent the memories from returning. However, Vesper finds a way to integrate and force certain memories into himself by melting the shards through a difficult process.
- Is this technology? Magic? Psychic ability?
Part of the magic system. His deviation ability that’s extended by his
- What are the limitations? (Can he do it remotely? Does the person know? Is it permanent?)
He must be within direct contact with the person in order to extract their memory. Vesper ideally does this stealthily. The memory loss is temporary and can be returned once the corresponding glass shard is shattered.t
- How does Rain discover this is happening?
The Roxana scene you mentioned (losing mobility functions) suggests Vesper can target specific memories, but how does society not notice people having skills erased?
Vesper wants to optimize people. So his offering of removing tragic/negative experiences is very enticing for most people. In return for this service, they serve him in being compartmentalized agents for him.
3. The World/Setting
- When/where does this take place?
On a large island (similar to Japan) that is inspired by the impossibility of Las Vegas and the futuristic ideal of Atlantis before its disaster.
- Is memory manipulation known to the public or secret?
No, this is simply an oddity that isn’t revealed until past the midpoint of the story.
- What is Vesper's position in society that allows him to do this?
- Why does this make Rain specifically a fugitive vs. just another victim?
4. Claire and Roxana's Plot Functions
You know what they represent thematically, but:
- How do they meet Rain?
- What are their goals independent of Rain's story?
To locate what happened to Aster Sparks, Roxana’s adoptive father.
Why do they join him/oppose Vesper?
What do they DO in the story?
They are idealized versions of what Rain aspires to be.