Dreams Versus Safety

As an update from the last Now note, I’ve tied up a couple loose ends, but not completely. The L-file is in a more acceptable state for me and is available to anyone that’s interested in Usogui; however, the long haul of actually adding info to the site still remains. For the vlogs, part 2 was posted and part 3 remains… a whole 7+ hours of footage to try to sift through. At this point, I should just upload the raw footage to YouTube as I am a little annoyed the last video got the opening copyright claimed (honestly should have expected it).

Though these are more like “side projects”, I try to put in the time to actually complete them. But the issue now is to focus my time on the two goals that matter to me the most, learning Japanese (in order to move to Japan) and writing my novel. I keep having this back and forth over the past few years of whether to focus on getting stability by starting an online business for income or to focus on the dream that matters to me. I have so much trouble justifying that if I really did put in my all for my dreams, the money and any issues would work its way out by virtue of me doing the things that resonate with me.

I guess I still have some level of self imposed limit that if I plan to make money that it should be completely separate from the art or creative endeavors I’m trying to make.

With that being said, I am taking strides to commit to the long term improvement of my Japanese and writing. I already have Bunpro (which I recently don’t really use) and Migaku to help supplement my learning and gathering Japanese learning channels like Cure Dolly, Japanys, and Comprehensible Japanese. On the writing front, I am starting to use Scrivner more and more as well as integrating that with my website. I’ve been slacking a little on the writing of notes, but will pick it back up starting now!

I recently bought the book “We Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around and Make Something” by Amie Mcnee and hope this will push me even further to commit to writing. I’ve been very concerned with what I want to focus on as I keep playing with the idea of becoming a mangaka or game developer. While these avenues aren’t impossible for me, I feel they aren’t focused on the fundamental thing of me wanting to make a meaningful story that expresses who I am. So despite the fact I haven’t really committed myself to reading novels, I will try to write one. Granted, I am not completely clueless as my grammar is pretty solid and I’m doing my best to be self aware in how I am writing in relation to stories I’ve enjoyed and disliked.